Cop-Impersonating Firefighter Fights Jail Time For Child Sex Crime... And Fails

     To be fair to Matthew Joseph Hyde, he was once a police officer. This portly piece of pork born on April 30th, 1980, spent almost his entire adult life in public service. He worked as an officer for the Mt. Morris Police Department and Clayton Township Police Department before serving as a ranger for the Genesee County Parks.

     In 2015, he left law enforcement and joined the Burton Fire Department, ultimately working his way up to the president of its union. This prestigious position didn't stop him from chasing his former glory as a LEO: when he was arrested five years later, he had a loaded gun and police badges from numerous departments he did not work for in his truck.

     This is indicative of a larger dark side that took over Hyde's fatter half, or all of him. His tattoos alone should be a crime. His chicken wings have the names "Jekyll" and "Hyde" on them; apparently he is unaware that his last name was passed down to him and doesn't give him the right to make such a shitty reference, although it does suit him. He has a network of tribal tattoos on his shoulders, boobs, and back fat. Finally, he has two biblical tattoos: praying hands and the bible verse Matthew 5:9. 

     Apparently, Jesus was his justification. He was busted by the Genesee Human Oppression Strike Team (GHOST) in August 2020 after using the dark web to communicate with two separate decoys posing as 14-year-old girls, engaging in graphic sexual chat, and driving to meet one of them for an inappropriate encounter. Matt Hyde's arrest was big news in Burton, resulting in his firing by Fire Chief Kirk Wilkinson and even earning a comment from Mayor Duane Haskins, who said that Hyde was not a reflection of the city's first responders as a whole.

     With all the publicity and all the well-deserved vitriol, Hyde was quick to plead guilty to child sexual abuse activity in exchange for charges of accosting a minor and using the computer to commit a crime being dropped. His maximum sentence of 44 years in prison dropped to 20 years when his plea was entered on March 23rd, 2021, but he would not find out until April 26th, 2021, during sentencing. 

     His lawyer, Sara Coaster, brought up Hyde's religious nature, saying he was attending bible classes and therapy sessions and blaming the client's obvious predatory behavior on unfettered access to porn online (funny how the majority of people have access to porn and yet the majority are not child sex fiends). Judge Elizabeth A. Kelly bought it and sentenced Matthew Joseph Hyde to six months in jail, five years probation, and lifetime registration as a sex offender. 

     Hyde has since served his time and been placed on probation, which will end in 2026. He must register as a sex offender, and he will never work in public service again. He drives the same 2006 Chevy Colorado (MI 7CF85) he pretended to be a police officer and tried to rape a child in, and this may be as good a metaphor for what lies ahead for Hyde as those tattoos on his arms.

     Hyde is one of nearly 100 men arrested for human trafficking by one man (Sheriff Chris Swanson) in one state in one nation in the world, a place many see as being immune from the problem. Hold your children close to you, for men of ill-intent like Matt Hyde may be waiting to take your place.