Sexual Abuse Counseling Week 13: Find It In Your Heart To Forgive Your Perpetrator

     This is the most difficult step in overcoming sexual abuse. It is, however, the most important step. Don't ever forget what happened to you; repressing negative feelings will only make them stronger. What you can do is mitigate their impact and, consequently, end its control over you.

     Forgiveness does not come easily, nor can it be forced. It takes emotional maturity of realizing that what they did may have hurt you in the past, but it only dictates your future if you allow it to. If you tell a lie often enough, though, it becomes true. Meditate and list the people you want to forgive and what you want to forgive them for. Repeat this daily whenever you would like, be it before bed, immediately upon waking up, or any time in between, although I recommend the former; it allows for a relaxed state for drifting off into sleep and purges the negative emotions gathered throughout the day. Eventually, a feeling of peace will occur.

     Don't meet them in person; don't give them the satisfaction. Realize that what happened was not about hurting you, but a sick perversion that can only be cured with prison, or worse. Use all of the steps you have learned as coping mechanisms until you find you are able to forgive and move on, and your life may be free to continue its course.